And some days are harder

Today was a very, very busy day. I had 4 or 5 evals plus my usual caseload. I met with my manager for a bit about caseloads and my productivity, etc. It was very, very cool to be pulled aside and asked if I thought I could keep another half-time assistant busy. I have never been asked for that kind of opinion. That part was great.

I also was really proud of myself because I THINK I handled something well. I'll find out, sometimes I have bad ideas that seem good. I'm the last one out, so I straighten the gym with my last patient. It's no big deal, usually I have time she's working (I schedule a specific lady) although that's sort of changing. But there's straightening and there's straightening. People are always leaving trash in there, like dirty tissues on the floor and empty/partly empty foam coffee cups. I get tired of cleaning them up. Then the treatment tables don't get returned and some days equipment is left out. Today I even cleaned up e-stim pads, something that needs special care to protect the gel from breaking down. So I put up a note in the office reminding people that I don't mind straightening but the dirty tissues etc are a bit much. I kept it sort of funny and I think it's ok.

But the hard part did come......Last week I was supposed to go to the BIG CITY to see Dr. Brain. Thanks to the snow and being stuck I cancelled. I emailed her that I was probably ok to go a month (for the first time ever) between visits. We've always been very careful to not go more than 5 weeks because every single time we've spaced 6 weeks between visits I have had an emergency. My meds just need adjusted on that 4 week basis. Anyway, I was pretty sure that I was ok to go until next month. About 2:oo I walked in and my cell was ringing. It was her office, telling me she had an opening tomorrow and would like me to come in.

I'm glad she cares. I realize how incredibly lucky I am that she does. I respect it if she feels I am not ready to go quite so long. And I'm sure I'll benefit from the check-in tomorrow. It also gives her a chance to say anything she wants the nephrologist to know about lithium and my kidneys.

However, I'm also a little sad to know that of all the people on her cancellation list, which is always plenty long, I made it to the top. I'm still sick enough to need her.

And my appointment isn't last, which means I'll also have some guilt because it takes so long to go through my meds since I'm on so many and to do the standard check-up that she always schedules me for 2 appts and I'm last most of the time. This way people will be waiting forever for me, and while that's part of her policy (know you may wait forever but she'll spend as much time as you need too), I still feel sorry for anyone who thinks I'll be out fast.

Ack. It's nearly midnight and I haven't been home long enough to eat anything or take meds. And I need to be asleep so I can wake up for tomorrow's adventure in driving.