I can't even begin to explain what sleeping like this feels like. Dr. Mind compared it to finding out that Santa Claus is real, and that seems about accurate. I have never been able to sleep this way. I didn't even sleep well as a baby. As a child I slept ok but my sleep was easily disturbed, I had a lot of nightmares and I was/am a sleep walker and sleep talker. It's been a while since I know I was walking in my sleep, although that doesn't necessarily mean much because I usually get back to bed and find out in the morning when I discover I locked the cat in the basement/garage/other place cats don't belong and where I would never intentionally stick her. I still wake myself up talking/yelling in my sleep. I did that last night, in fact. One of my more embarrassing moments is a sleep talking story. When I was a camp counselor every year during the training week we did a camp-out up the mountain at the outpost site. (Because it was a place for kids with special needs we didn't exactly "rough it" the rest of the time. We had electricity, comfortable beds, a real bathroom with a shower in each cabin, an air-conditioned dining hall, etc. to best meet a huge range of medical needs. Even out camp-outs were a lot less intense than a more traditional camp; we had A-frame structures that kept us dry if it rained and which were more comfortable than the ground.) Anyway, the 3rd year I worked there I had as much seniority as anyone else, including the camp director who was a counselor with me the first year. Seniority gave you a few rights plus the advantage of knowing what was a good thing when you saw it and how to manipulate the system (ie, always order extra supplies on s'more night and the counselors get free candy bars; specify koolaid flavor for snack or you get green; specify koolaid or you get water and everyone hates you; if someone's info sheet says they are a picky eater avoid that kid's table like the plague or you'll be making 3 PB&J sandwiches per day for the next 11 days. Pizza casserole day is McDonald's on break day.) So my 3 friends and I grabbed the one tent that was available. We got it up without problems (go us!) and jammed ourselves in to sleep that night. At some point very late at night I, the other women in the tent and everyone in both A-frames (which were not terribly close to the tent) were awakened by my screaming about something. And of course whatever it was that I screamed was somewhat embarrassing. I don't remember what, but I sure heard about it a lot that summer.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Sleep. Heavenly sleep. And rambling b/c I'm still sleepy.
I've now been sleeping normally for 3 weeks. I've gotten to the point now where I simply go to sleep. No relaxation tape, nothing. Last night I fell asleep while trying to stay awake just long enough to read to the end of the page. When I woke up for my 4 am meds I had (uncharacteristically) not only fallen asleep with a light on in the bedroom, but I must have had plans to get something from the living room because that light was also on and I am a person who turns out lights on the way out of every room.