Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Five Years

Five years and about 2 months ago I registered for this blog, set it up, and then didn't post because I wasn't sure.  Five years exactly, about to the minute if I remember I posted for the first time, marking both a bit decision to start to risk just a little bit having people know my diagnosis and my 30th birthday.  (Please don't say happy birthday.  Today was has been the best birthday I've had in many, many years, but those words make me cringe).

I'm sorry again for not posting much.  Tomorrow I really want to finish posting what I have been writing the last few days.  Right now I need to sleep as soon as I can.  Thursday I started an inhaler of the same med I've been using in the nebulizer with no problems.  I did not use a lot and the last dose was at 4.  I was awake until after 3. So I did yesterday on almost no sleep and while I did sleep last night I am still recovering.  And frankly my asthma is a major issue right now, I've been warned I may be hospitalized, so although I'll have my netbook (unless something uncontrolled happens) and will write as I can, if I am gone just know I'm really fighting with this.  I may not be in the hospital, but breathing is not easy right now and when breathing is hard everything is hard.

Like I said, if I can tomorrow I will finish a real post.  If not then soon.

Sorry to be boring.  Somehow I thought I would have more to say about 5 years of blogging but I am so sleepy right now that there is no depth in my thoughts.  Maybe 5 years part II will happen.


Michal Ann said...

Happy celebration of your life...glad to hear it's one of the best in many many years. I wish it was even better! You're making the right decision to rest up.

I offer one of my favorite Psalms for your un-birthday gift. It's priceless and has carried me through many a year.

(New Living Translation)

Psalm 139

1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Anonymous said...

Jen, hang in there. Of course it's good to see you post, but if you need to rest then rest it should be. Take care of yourself and fight this dang asmtha! I am thinking of you and praying for you. Blog when you're better! B.