As I've said before, right now is all about little tiny steps. The last couple days have not been my best because my sleep decided to go crazy again and I'm tired. Then my meds and heat are not a good combination. So I have not been spending much time doing anything that is going to get me better. Which makes me crazy, because I just want to get better.
One of my daily assignments is to exercise. I'm supposed to walk, which also gets me out of my house. The other day I was excited to have walked a mile. Well, tonight I walked more like 3. I can't believe how out of shape I am in, I have sore muscles everywhere, but nonetheless, I did something really good for myself. (I have to be physically in pretty good shape as my job has significant physical demands and plenty of days I don't sit down all day long).
Now, if this only puts me to sleep...
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My favorite is "Baby steps into the elevator, baby steps into the elevator, baby steps AAAAAAAAAARGGHHHHHH". Yeah, I use the Bob philosophy a lot. In fact, it's about the only movie I can watch. I think that has a lot to do with not needing to pay attention to it.
But right now REALLY feels like that.
A new blog may really help. Sometimes it's nice to talk anonymously. This blog actually was started to be something to expose psychology students to mental illness. That never kicked off all that well after the first few weeks, and I never meant to write so much. But while I've been sick this time it has been a really good thing. And it's helpful because I was so sick I don't remember things, and this lets me look back and know what I was like 4 weeks ago.
Hang in there. You've seen me make it through a mess I thought I'd never conquer. I've been sick, but never like this and that really scared me. And I'm getting there. In fact if all goes well I'll be working in a month.
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