I just wrote a beautiful post about this webpage. For some reason I totally messed it up and did something with HTML which I do not have a clue about. So instead of my insights I'll just send you there. I learned some new things about my illness and it helped my new process of developing insights into "oh yeah I DO do that". Turns out I've been kind of blocking out many things over the years and that is part of what has been haunting me during my recent depression.
It's worth reading.