For the past few weeks it has been really weird as I've been treated for JUST depression. JUST depression is not something I see very often and it has feel odd.
Well, it's over. Mania has started and now I'm back to my typical mixed episode. The net result is that I am EXHAUSTED (the med change last night didn't get me to sleep sooner but did make me groggy until about 7 pm) and yet having a hard time sitting still. I have probably done more around the house in the last hour than I have in 2 or 3 months in the last 25 minutes. Granted, 25 minutes isn't very long and I didn't do anything fancy. But I did make recyclables take up less space and bagged them, I washed a few dishes, I cleaned off the stovetop since something had spilled without my knowledge. Last night in a similar burst of MUST DO SOMETHING NOW at the unfortunate hour of about 2:30 AM I straightened up my bedroom. It's not done but it's neater than it has been in a very long time. And truly at this point I'm happy with just "nothing growing where it shouldn't".
One thing that gets hard with these periods is that I wind up feeling a combination of exhaustion from the depression and "THIS WILL NOT DO, CLEAN IT UP, FIX IT NOW" from the mania. And of course listening to the mania just makes me more tired and listening to the depression makes the mania unbearable. Hopefully this is just because of the med change and won't last long.
I scheduled a time next week to return company property and get my stuff. That's likely to send me back to the down side again. But I need to get it over with as I dread it and know it's going to be a very hard time and I just need to get past it. I honestly think it was easier to quit than to do this, probably because that task tends to be pretty hard when you are leaving a job to go to another. This time the books and things that have always traveled with me from job to job will move to places in my home. Hard to imagine.
Anyway, I'm going to try to take meds a little early and hope I can go to the city a little early tomorrow so I can get a script filled and pick up milk and the like before I see Dr. Mind so that we can lock up the dangerous med instead of my having it locked in the car (not good for it) until next week.