Daily News

I have been off work 6 weeks and 2 days. I was eligible for disability effective day 14. My company took 2 weeks beyond that to get me the paperwork, then my doctor had to fill it out. From that point on I have no idea what's going on except that I NEED money and I have none. Last week the disability provider couldn't even find me in their system; now I do have a case number but apparently not a case worker (a case worker greatly seems to help). They keep saying that my doctor isn't sending them stuff, but they contradict what they say, plus I have 2 people at the doctor's office who I trust inherently refuting that. Regardless, I have to make a mortgage payment tonight and then things get really tight in this house.

Which is too bad since I finally have more signs that just serious food cravings that my body was malnourished during all those bad months. I have a rash that is from a deficiency. So I am eating weird-tasting vitamin chews daily and know that I need to keep it up with the healthy eating. If only healthy were cheap.

I also got my results back for my 3rd thyroid test. Lithium can injure the thyroid and we're watching mine to see if the injury was permanent. I had a normal test in there, but #3 was off again and the initial damage from my toxicity should be gone. So another test was ordered with extra blood from that draw (convenient; I've had 5 draws in 6 weeks so I'm all for not taking more), and then in 3 weeks I do this all over again.

I did one of the worse things on ambien I've done yet. Somewhere in the night I locked my cat in the basement. She was NOT happy. I don't think she was there long, and it's not a bad basement, but just the indignity. I still wonder WHY though...

Tomorrow I am going to see my psychiatrist. I've never seen her at her real office before. I see her at a clinic where she does 3 half days/month. This is a big (2 hours each way) drive and I have no real idea where I'm going. I get really anxious driving in this city because when I was first diagnosed I was in a clinical trial and when I was trying to drive home I somehow hit a city bus. It was ok, but it was really embarrassing and I don't want to repeat. Where I live we barely have SCHOOL buses! I knew I was getting an add-in appointment somewhere. I'm surprised how fast. I hope this doesn't mean I have to have my anxiety poked at some more. I'm handling it better now that I'm taking (and agreeing to take) more drugs.

Otherwise, today was slightly better. I think I partly just needed a vacation from my problems. Or lots and lots of sedation. I'm not very smart right now, but at least I'm not crying. I guess next week I can worry about weaning off some of this stuff.

To bland-ish days!