Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Monday, December 31, 2007


The last 4 months I've had to undergo a big attitude change. After years of treatments that only partly worked and which gave me all kinds of yucky side effects I had thought there were things that I absolutely wouldn't accept. Like another 20 lbs, for example. We chose Seroquel over Zyprexa to reduce the chances of weight gain, but unfortunately I gained weight. I think it's got a lot to do with my thyroid swearing at me for not producing adequate hormones, but regardless, I've gained a lot of weight.

Since I go back to work next week I need to buy scrubs. I knew my shirts weren't going to fit. My pants, however, I thought would be ok because they are drawstring and have always been somewhat large. No go. I'm ordering pants to go with my shirts.

I feel like warning people at work that I've gained weight. I know people will talk about me when I show up anyway, but showing up with all this weight gain and some serious tremors make me pretty self-conscious. Having all new scrubs will add to this because scrubs last forever and we just don't usually replace all at once.

I am trying to be mature. Crying and anger are not going to change this. But it still isn't my favorite thing.


therapydoc said...

Hang in there. It can't be fun and you're going great. I hope this is a good year for you.

Emilija said...

I think it is wonderful that you are going back to work! I wish I could help you with the body-image thing. After I gained a lot on zyprexa, I was extremely self-conscious for quite some time. I even skipped a wedding. But time does help, that is all I can say. And it really doesn't matter what other people think. As long as they think that you are a good OT- that's what matters at work.