Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I don't know what this means and then a total change to Medusa meds.

So when you work as a traveler, as I have done for the last year, you have the right to convert to a permanent position with the contracted company if you complete 2 consecutive contracts (each contract is 13 weeks).  According to the handbook you are to tell them as soon as you have an offer to stay.

This week started my 2nd contract and I'm staying.  The last time I made noises about permanent placement my company talked me out of it, mainly with promises for things in the contract that only lasted one contract with my being under the clear impression it was for my time with the company.  That time though I wasn't 100% vested in staying.  This time I am.  I know this is the right place for me.  So, I sent an email about that and something else. Well, the response has been.......nothing.  So I emailed again this morning, because I kind of need a response about another question in the email and still.....nothing.

I cannot think that they did not expect this.  They've known how much I love where I am and how much my supervisors like me.  They also know that I've done what is unusual as a contracted person and that I've pretty much developed my program.  So I thought this would be no big surprise, just taken in stride.  After all I've been with them a year, will have been with them 15 months when I leave and considering that travelers have no paid vacation (I did negotiate a bit once), no sick days, no paid holidays, horrid health insurance ($3000 deductible.  I'll be paying medical bills from this last year for a very long time to come), constant fighting for mental health coverage (we're expecting to be denied here soon because I've improved, although am certainly not as well as I was in January before the PTSD and panic attacks got so bad).

So I'm stressed.  And stress makes me want to sleep a lot.  Which is too bad since I have 8 AM meetings tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday.  Tomorrow's meeting I found out about at 6 pm.  I have been so sleepy that even when I get up at 4 it takes a long time to get moving and so I really wish I'd known to stay down there.  Oh well.  Life goes on.  I just need to get to sleep fairly soon.

I learned something the hard way.  I've been so tired and really not anxious as much lately.  I'm not taken Klonopin during the day about 50% of the time where a month ago I was taking it twice during the day.  I also have not felt I needed it at night as i was so very tired I didn't want to increase my sedation.  So I stopped it and then wasn't sleeping very well.  I restarted it and am finding I sleep better and wake easier with it.  Good to know.

Saturday I pick up a prescription for a new med for constipation.  That will bring my meds to the following:

Psych meds:  Seroquel 2 tablets, lithium 1 tablet (may be 2 after Dr. Brain visit Saturday), Nuvigil 1 tablet, Klonopin 2- (probably still usually 3) tablets daily.  Also up to 4 PRN vistaril capsules that I don't need recently and 1 patch daily.

Meds to treat side effects:  2 doses of Miralax daily; 2 pills of this new med Amitza? something like that; 1 Nexium; Vit. D 2 pills to replace natural Vit. D because I can't be in the sun much and was severely deficient a year ago.

Meds to treat damaged systems thanks to psych meds:  amelioride 2 tablets for diabetes insipidus thanks to lithium; synthroid 1 tablet for the thyroid that lithium destroyed when I was toxic; 1 Vitamin B to prevent the recurrent sores on my mouth from too many years of vomiting affecting my nutrition.

Totals:  Psych meds (maximum excluding vistaril since I've not had any for 3 weeks):  7 pills and 1 patch
            Meds I take thanks to years of psych meds:  11 doses (2 are a powder I dissolve and drink)

This seems backwards....Not that I miss taking 32 pills/day most of them psych related (that was my high
and I did that for a long time) but still, the side effects are so varied and in several cases treatment isn't optional, so that turns into a lot of meds.  It's like every med you take begats another 3 meds.  Like a Medusa head......

No comments: