What I never thought my blog would do

After some thought today I realized that I am mid-episode.  I knew I was, sort of, but not that it was as acute as it currently is.  I am very mixed and that can be harder for me to see sometimes, especially when it presents like it is now, as profound fatigue combined with feeling well enough to do as much or more than usual.  The doctor has been contacted, I am resting.  I suppose I should try to get in with Dr. Mind since I cancelled my appt. this week due to CPR training, but I can't really say I have the energy to handle it even then.  So I won't.  Instead I'll work hard on staying medicated and resting and keeping lots of Klonopin in my system.

I also realize that when an episode starts to get worse and I start to feel worse I stop writing here.  I make all kinds of excuses, but I think that the truth is that I avoid writing here because then the truth would be too clear to me.

Hopefully I will do some good just by resting this weekend.  I had to wash my sheets because the cat tried to puke off the end of the bed but instead hit the bottom of it.  I did learn that vinegar and baking soda does an incredible job of removing cat puke discoloration from the cover of a bed platform (replaces a box spring with memory foam mattresses.

At least I've been lucky on Ebay.  I just won 9 scrub shirts and 9 pairs of pants.  Total cost:  $3/piece.  And these are all name brands and appear to be nice.  So yay for that one.I needed some bigger ones that I can wear shirts under as it gets colder in the next few months.

I'm getting sleepy again.  I hope my sheets are dry soon.  That would be a very happy thing.

Happy is good because I feel floored by my inability to see what was going on.  I knew my drs. thought so and I agreed that it was happening to some extent but I was surprised by what the degree Dr. Mind put in his insurance report.  But he's right.  I'm not so good right now.

I hate that.