Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

And in other fun......

Any advice from "more experienced" women appreciated.......

So I seem to be entering the beginning of perimenopause.  I thought that was a ways off and when things started to change several months ago I ignored it.  Until my mom mentioned out of the blue that it started for her around my age; I think we were discussing fertility and whether my sister would have more kids.  She is 32; I'm 35 (more or less for both of us).  This last period was so different that I would have wondered regardless.  So I'm tracking and will schedule a gynecological visit for a few months from now to see what she thinks.  From what I read your mother's age is a good guide and my mom says what I'm experiencing sounds like it is starting.  (Perfectly the same periods suddenly are......exciting.  And my list for Target includes things I've never thought of needing, like overnight and heavy day pads.  I've been that lucky woman who never had more than a moderate one day, so I've never needed such things. I see it is now time for multicolored protection.

The funny this is that I JUST had an argument with Dr. Mind about this.  I tried to tell him that women in my family experience this early and that it may be an issue at some point that is worth considering rather than "so far off you shouldn't think about it", as menopause can wreak havoc with bipolar women.  It is possible that this has been some of my insane anxiety of late.  I'll talk to Dr. Brain about this soon as an "I think" and get lots of information.  I kind of just view it as a closure, the last sign that I am right about not having children.   And also a sign that if I am right (and that's part of why I'll see my gynecologist) that my sister needs to know because it may affect her plans regarding future children.

Among the many weird changes is that I keep getting heat rash under my underwires around my period.  I just took my tank top out of my suitcase the other day and today had to go buy another one.  I have to wear them under my bras until the rash heals.  Granted, it's insanely hot and I was in a place where I baked today, but the rash started before that.  Unfortunately the best treatment is no bra for a few days and that isn't happening for a few more days.

Also, just because I want to complain, I'm in the motel tonight and stuck between loud TV room (often a problem as the TVs are wall mounted and the walls are thin) and loud people.  I think I'm going to have to turn the fan on the AC on full-time so I can try to sleep as I'm TIRED.  Ugh.

Tomorrow I will have happy news of some kind.  Lots of complaining lately it seems.  Sorry.  this is what heat reduces me to:  a whiny, sleepy, sweaty blob.  And it has been so hot for so long..........

1 comment:

Rachael said...

That was a powerful post. I am often amazed at the way writing things out can help bring about revelation. I got chills when I read the part about not trusting yourself so you don't trust the doctor. I really hope that helps you and that through this discovery, you can learn to trust yourself. And I hope you can find some moments of peace in your one day off.