Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

So sensitive

Last week someone I used to work with sent me a facebook message asking what happened, as I had been doing fine when she left her job when I was recovering from surgery.  I explained and was touch.  Because that was the first time someone bothered.  Someone else had expressed sorrow at my leaving but that's it.  And I wouldn't care so much but there was a nurse who went off work just about exactly when I did and hasn't returned.  And at least once a week my former boss will comment on her post telling her how much she is missed, to please come in and visit, etc.  For me, there is silence.

Because I loved where I was so much I never mentioned that I was so hurt that nobody sent me a get-well card.  I'd signed plenty for others, but I didn't hear a peep.  I was rather hurt then. Later it is understandable that it might be hard to explain the pscyhiatric issues, but I was off for at least a month with pain and surgery and recovery and that seems straight forward enough; someone cut into my belly and poked around and removed things and then people went into my uterus and removed things and then my bladder was cut as well.  Nothing to do with psych.

I am sure that I did not leave the greatest impression.  For 6 months I was healthy except for a kidney stone that was misread on the scan and called a virus out of lack of answers.  Then the entire rest of the time I worked there I had whooping cough and asthma and chemical sensitivities and abdominal pain and bad anemia.  Then I went on leave early for pain management, and then I didn't come back.  I understand this totally.  I also understand that even the kindest people sometimes don't know how to handle psychiatric issues.  But the end result is that they've made me feel alone and it gets worse when nobody cares what I say but the other person who left is somehow more acceptable.  Support did come in how long they held my job for me and kept my on cheaper benefits.  But I think they knew I was too sick to return before I did.

I don't know.  Too hard to figure out just now.  Tired of hurting with these things.

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1 comment:

Lurid said...

:( That makes me sad. FWIW, I think you're justified in being hurt--especially when you see what's happening with another coworker in a similar situation.

I hope you feel better about it soon. There's not much else I can say.