Intermission

I'm taking a day off from writing about the injustice of the firing. Writing those posts is both cathartic and really painful. It's kind of embarrassing to openly talk about being fired. I do not believe it happened justly (and what I'll share today is partial proof), and I do not think that I was fired for reasons that demanded firing. I think that I was set-up and that everything I did wrong was used to make sure I was gone before my vacation. But nonetheless, I did things that were wrong, and I was fired, and like most people I've always had a sort of negative view of people who get fired. I always felt superior. Now I know I'm not. Now I can even admit that years ago one of my assistants was fired and it probably partially was because of me. She was doing things that were very wrong, but she was not in good mental health and I didn't fight hard enough for her because I was so angry that she wasn't doing it for herself. I thought if I could fight for myself I shouldn't have to fight for her. Lorraine, I was wrong about that. I'm sorry.

But anyway, today was my big interview. I feel like it went extremely well. The interviewer said the recruiter would call to negotiate today but he didn't. So I guess that waits for Monday. The place is incredible. It's the most beautiful nursing home I have ever seen, by far. The facility is very modern and up-to-date, with appropriate equipment for rehab. This is not what you get everywhere. I felt I handled myself well too. Eye contact and the like are generally hard for me. I've come an extremely long way in this area in the last 3 years (I realized today that I make eye contact with Dr. Mind pretty much all the way through the session unless I'm uncomfortable with the topic), and I didn't have to fight that so much today. We'll see.

On the other hand, I've spent some time being pretty frustrated today. I received my box of stuff from my desk yesterday. The box was beat up and I didn't realize until today some of what had happened in there. For one thing, things weren't gathered up and placed neatly in the box. Instead my things were pretty much dumped. My box of socket wrenches had been opened (it has a very tight latch so it would be possible to just pop during mailing) and were dumped everywhere. My Uno cards were no longer in their rubberband. There was a hole in the box so I'm probably missing some of both. (I think this is especially true for the Uno cards, which is bad because this was a deck I painstakingly altered for use with cognitively impaired patients and it took hours to do. Plus, anything lost is financial loss for me.). And worst of all, supplies that belonged to me have been taken. Several packs of fancy, uniquely large post-its, labels, scissors, tylenol. Yet I did receive the 2 packs of ketchup that were in my drawer.....There were larger missing items, but I included all of them in the list going to HR. I'm really frustrated about it; it basically says I never should have trusted anyone. Which hurts. And I know that I'm going to look like Ms. Demanding wanting those things back, but they were MINE. So little of what I thought was my life feels like it is still certainly mine; I want control of my office supplies.

I just hope the HR person realizes what has gone on. Since my total list is 7 items and will require a whole seperate fairly large box I hope she does. I realize my office supplies are just plain gone, but still....And as far as the tylenol, I have a theory. You know how lots of women carry a bottle with about 14 different meds in it? Even my psychiatrist does it. Well, people knew I had good meds. I really wonder if someone didn't take my tylenol hoping to find gold. Too bad I'm smarter than that. The good stuff is in a pill pouch in my purse, and made a little harder to figure out by "weaker" anxiety meds are loose. There are 2 colors but they are the same med, same dose. The good stuff is in a wad of aluminum foil and I only carry a few at a time.

So, today was mainly good, and in a way the anger about the stuff is good too. Not for sleeping, but for getting some anger out.