Mmmm, not yet

I am doing remarkably well. I have a great deal that hasn't necessarily hit me yet, and I cry daily. I have some hard things ahead, including having to get the box of things I was fired over. And talking to human resources about things like COBRA. And some legal stuff, which I'll explain as I tell the story. But I'm not hitting horrible depression.

Mainly the worst things are sadness about not getting to say good-bye, anger that I'm not going near, frustration because what happened was so bizarre, embarrassment, and the only part of the anger that HAS hit: Thursday was to begin my vacation, time I had saved up for a very long time (I only took about 6 days off in the 9 months I was employed, I think). I was going to Niagara Falls. Now I'm going nowhere because of money. They knew they were going to fire me, they didn't want to pay my vacation, and they timed it for now. It's very obvious looking back; they used me as long as they could and then fired me. I lost over $2000 in vacation pay; I had quite a bit of time saved up because I needed to save it in case I had a bipolar episode. I may re-think that with my next job.

I did get a good lead on a job that sounds pretty good today. The only problem is that it will not start for some time. But aside from money-wise that may be ok because time to emotionally adjust may be good.

When I started this post I thought I was ready to start the story. I'm not. I am tired of it. And I have to get ready for bed because I go to see Dr. Brain tomorrow. Lucky her. Sympathy makes me fall apart totally.

Soon. Bear with me. Somehow this is far from the hardest thing ever to happen to me (yet it seems it should be), but I have to go step by step. Maybe in a few more days. For today, it's enough I braved the bi-annual meat sale to get a supply of pork to freeze. (not an experience to remember).