I had a lot of time today that I couldn't stop thoughts of this new diagnosis out of my head. As I said yesterday it brings together a lot of things that have just not been right of late. Even my daily headache now makes sense as I was probably getting dehyrated during my busy hours and then drinking more to help it and just peeing that right out.
I also was much more aware of how incredibly frequently I've been peeing huge amounts. That seems sort of surprising, because you think that you'd notice that your bladder is completely full every 45 minutes, but not me. I had wondered fleetingly why I no longer had vitamin pee, but I thought that was something my body was used to the vitamin. I also have been whining ever since I went back to work about having had to buy bigger pants but the big ones are too baggy. I constantly am retying pants. Turns out that when I pay attention this is because my bladder gets big and full, then empties, then is full again.
At the same time I'm now overly aware of the whole thing. I want answers and I won't be getting those until my next bloodwork. I'll probably get some ideas when I see my psychiatrist next week, but because I've got an established pattern of feeling much, much worse off lithium I want to be allowed to try and to deal with this as long as possible. However I repeatedly read last night that if it is lithium induced the only treatment is removing the lithium. What I don't know is exactly how hard on the kidneys this is. I know lithium causes kidney issues, especially after longterm use or toxicity. What I'm unclear on is whether this is step one of that.
I also need to call my doctor and find out if this new diagnosis is going to mess with my drug test. Somehow I have it in my head that they check urine and don't accept overly dilute urine as it's a possible way to mess with the test. I don't wish to explain how I have this, but I suspect it's better to be honest upfront.
Today had weird moments of discussing mental illness and everyone else discussing how it must be so hard to be like that, and how hard mania must be. This woman has been so manic and driving everyone crazy and it's hard to listen to the things people say, even professionally said things. It's hard because they have no clue that I'm just that ill underneath all these meds. That's a blessing, but it's also a curse.
A huge wave of tired just hit so I guess I'll be peeing yet again and going to sleep. More tomorrow.