This has been a big few days. Yesterday I drug myself to the hospital for my thyroid check. I'm so sure that I'm feeling so tired because of that. My therapist confirms he didn't see signs of depression. I feel no depression. I am just exhausted. There are other things. My hair is back to falling out. This time it's a bit alarming as I've been more aware of how many gray hairs there are. I had my first noticeable in the mirror at all times grays a year ago, and if you look closely they are always there, but now I have a lot more in just a short time. Of course the last 2 years have been really stressful in general and stress does that. I can't believe that in 2 weeks this blog (and the coincidental story of how my life fell completely apart for a while) will be 2 years old.
Last night I needed to take on clothes shopping yet again. I should have a bunch of scrubs here any day but I have no casual or dressy in any way clothes except for one sweater and khakis. I wore those to a meeting last week and since I had another meeting this week with the same people it seemed wise to get new clothes. I discovered something: I've felt terrible shopping down here in Cow Pastureville because there are no clothes or selection for overweight women or for young overweight women especially. And even if I found something it invariably did not fit properly.
I went to the Kohl's in the City and lo and behold, a real women's department. Complete with things that I liked and which fit well and made me look nice. I finally felt remotely attractive for the first time in months. Wearing clothes that are falling off you does that after a while, you feel like a blob.
I talked to work about my return next Wednesday. I learned that I've been essentially reassigned to a facility even farther from home than I already drive. I'd anticipated this as a possibility and after today's meeting things will work out. I may have a really, really hard month ahead though before things change.
Read that as you will. I can't say specifics. Details to follow on the 16th. Assuming I survive that commute that long...