I'm going through this kind of weird thing this week. This was when I was hospitalized last year and the reminders of how bad it was sometimes keep creeping back. It's much nicer to be free. I hate that I'm fighting with my illness, but it's so much better.
Last night I had no power. It came on at 3:30, so guess when I got up?
Also, work is crazy. A full day is considering 4 evals or 4-6 treatments depending on driving. Today I did 4 evals plus 3 treatments, one of which was a discharge (extra paperwork) and I drove 70 miles just between pts. and not including my commute at all. Needless to say a lot of paperwork came home with me. I'm finishing this one and leaving the last for morning. But I had a LONG day and see no end to being ultra-busy. The OT chart reviewer person sent me a huge packet to read and I just laughed. I know she's going to want it ready by next chat with her Monday and I seriously doubt it. I'm not spending a ton of time reading that on my own time and I don't have any extra time this week at all.
As you can probably tell I'm stressed. It's partly hard because I keep trying to convince myself it's ok to feel sad and stressed and symtpomatic this year even if it's not as bad as it was a year ago. If I weren't tired I'd follow that logic, but I am tired and so it's hard to keep myself straight.
So more from Jen's world soon, but it may be Saturday before I can be coherent. But now back to getting this eval finished.
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Please note that any patient experiences noted in this blog are heavily edited to disguise events. Similarities to real persons are coincidental.
Please also know that while I speak as a professional at times, I am not a doctor. I have strong opinions, some based on professional training and/or experience, some based on research, and some based on personal experience of my own variety of this illness. Therefore what I say is my opinion, not a fact and doctors should always be consulted.
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2 comments:
Sometimes there are key events you mark in your life, I have a couple that aren't so pleasant so I plan ahead for those with preplanned "happy" activities to keep me occupied. It's just a trick on myself, but it works so I'm sticking with it!!!
Hi Jen,
I've been reading but not commenting. Last year was a huge thing (understatement) for you to go through. I imagine it is totally normal to relive/remember it. I've done the same with my daughter's [frightening] hospitalization when she was 1. It was over the Easter holiday and it took me years to break the association. I hope that when you look back, you are also "present" to see how far you've come.
Am I remembering correctly that you were stopping an anti-depressant med before you went in last year? Weren't you slowly weaning from it for weeks before your hospital stay, and almost completely off it when you admitted yourself?
I also hope that remembering is healing thing for you. You did it, Jen. You made it through an extremely difficult time. You overcame it. It was sad. It was horrible. It was traumatic. How can you not remember and relive it?
It is ok to be sad. Be kind to yourself, please? Be proud you've come so far from a year ago. Relax... a new season is just around the corner!
B.
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