I woke anxious, I'm going to work anxious, and I'd really prefer to hibernate. I do not feel like sitting through meetings, and then I have to go around and feel stupid dealing with the stuff from last night's patient. I do not want to go through that. I feel like an absolute idiot with the conversations this makes me have, and I do not understand why this patient has no problems with anyone in the agency but me. I do know, it's because it's "my" body part that is affected but the patient has made good, even great progress, and now the patient is hurting their own progress by refusing to take instructions from me. I just don't know. What I do know is I NEED vacation. 3 more weeks, I think. I haven't even asked what is happening to my patients that week. I am that desperate for time off.
And now I have to go so I can get my water bill paid before they turn it off. Again, stressed anyone?
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Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13
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- Over the years I have noticed that when I have the least hope a rainbow appears. Rainbows are a wonderful combination of beauty, hope, happiness and rain, the product of ugly grey clouds that hide the beauty of the sky. The beauty that is a rainbow can only come with the presence of both rain and sun. Such is life with bipolar disorder. There are good times, there are tough times, and there are rainbows to remind us that beauty will return, sometimes fleetingly and sometimes for a long time. This blog is my story of sadness and hope. Please scroll down to "Who I Am" under Pages to read more about me and the people who populate this blog.
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Please note that any patient experiences noted in this blog are heavily edited to disguise events. Similarities to real persons are coincidental.
Please also know that while I speak as a professional at times, I am not a doctor. I have strong opinions, some based on professional training and/or experience, some based on research, and some based on personal experience of my own variety of this illness. Therefore what I say is my opinion, not a fact and doctors should always be consulted.
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2 comments:
I think its the time of year or the moon signs. Restless night last night.
I hope you've reached a better place by the time you read comments. You "know" that it's not personal with your patient. You're receiving the brunt of his frustration. Think about who you really are: a skilled professional with years of experience the patient surely doesn't have. His world is probably pretty small right now while you're buzzing around with lots of activities like meetings, water bills, vacation planning.
If nothing else (exhale fully) , say "whew! I'm one wonderful therapist" and BREATHE for a minute or two. "Mini vacation" time.
You're amazing and strong and capable and caring and wonderful!
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