Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, July 16, 2011


So yesterday I explained to work about the MAOI taper, time off work, etc.   Thursday Dr. Mind and I went through it all.  I thought everything was in place. Until I got an email from Dr. Brain.  One of the anesthesiologists feels the anesthesia can be done without the MAOI taper.  Good news, right?  Except I did not feel good at it at all.

For one thing I've sort of been banking on the time off.  I have a significant depression going on here and I realize that going off my antidepressant won't make that go away but it would let me have some time to function at a lower level while not feeling well.  Between being in pain all the time now and various other things I have depression that is relatively severe and 4 weeks of working while in pain is too overwhelming.

I later asked about if I could come off to try some aggressive med changes prior to surgery to let me have some depression management.  If I'm on the antidepressant I'd rather not go into surgery with something that could make recovery harder.

And  then I realized my real problem.  I don't feel safe staying on the MAOI.  Too many doctors have too many opinions.  Too many doctors don't know enough about MAOIs, much less nurses who operate on standing orders at times and could easily not think/not know what to be careful of. and give me something that would interact.  I'll need breathing treatments and those interact with the MAOI.  And it would be possible to have an anesthesiologist who is the one actually doing my procedure want me off the MAOI and send me home, which would be unbearable.

So I sent yet another email to Dr. brain with these concerns.  As odd as it is, as  hard as it is, I want to come off it.  I feel safer that way.  It's not all about time to handle my depression, it's about that but it's also about feeling safe with being unable to protect myself from the wrong meds.

I don't know what she'll say.  I hope she'll understand.  It's a big thing to do because of fear, but it's also very valid fear.  And she strangely wasn't pushing this approach really, just asking what I thought, so maybe the same things have occurred to her.  Hopefully we'll see soon.


Anonymous said...

Very interesting. I'm glad you're a knowledgeable advocate for yourself and have such solid relationships in place with your team. There are so many factors to consider and you're doing a great job thinking it through and working with them. You also have a feeling that you need to handle things a certain way and I think you can trust your feelings in this area. Oh, how I pray you get some good rest this weekend! Michal

Anonymous said...

Oh I really love your new look! Way to go!!