But anyway, in the last year we've had numerous occasions to talk and shared faith has come up a bit more often. I operate in a world where medical faith is a big deal to me and yet often is kept very separate (there's my master's thesis and sole journal publication), and in many ways I think that is right. I only talk about faith with pt's if they bring it up, and even then have found some lecturing me on why I don't go to church, etc. But I also go to a counseling agency that proudly proclaims that it is Christian, see a psychologist who is also an ordained pastor (a fact known to Dr. Body before he knew that Dr. Mind is my psychologist), and have spoken of faith, prayers, etc. before. We've casually discussed such things, but today I got home to a response to an email he sent in response to my telling him last week that essentially I'm finally aware that until my gynecological issues are resolved I'm probably not going to feel very good and am going to stop expecting my asthma to really improve until that's over and it's finally one battle at a time. I also told him how much I appreciated some feedback he'd given that helped me see why I wasn't communicating very well with my pulmonologist, particularly that I need to talk in terms of numbers and facts and not just feelings (because I lie about that) and I'm used to my doctors adapting to my communication skills because they are used to them. I tend to be very concrete about health issues because they are hard for me to talk about. And thus I left Dr. Lungs feeling that he hadn't listened when in reality I hadn't represented myself very well. So I have a new plan for how to communicate with him, although I tried to bribe Dr. Body into coming with me. But the thing that I finally realized was that the communication issue WAS me, as we did fine the first time. Which is when Dr. Body had given them my history and issues in explicit detail and so a lot of what I was doing was answering factual questions.
His response was as supportive as ever, which I needed because being brave about this is not the easiest thing I've ever done.
But the ending was was I needed.....a human connection to one of these many people treating me now after so many years of allowing only Dr. Brain and Dr. Body into the roles of people I trust with my health. Ready?
You're right, you I can't always be there, I'll try, but you are very intelligent and self-aware, and in these moments, when not overwhelmed, you communicate well. Just keep focusing on the attitude and perspective of above! :-)