Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Friday, January 20, 2012

Will I publish this? Let's see

Obviously you won't know if I don't.  It's just weird to go into a post and know what I'm going to say but not if I'm going to share it.

With the sleep last night and lots of quite today and a very calm weekend anticipated since we're getting snow and ice on top of snow from yesterday I actually feel a little more peaceful than I have in so long.  But the weirdest thing?  I mainly feel this way because it really was good to go through things for the long-term disability thing Dr. Mind has to fill out and admit to what I can't do.  He was worried that if I even got my hands on this form that my feelings would be hurt.  I told him I know that I'm pretty limited and am not going to be upset by having that confirmed.  There is so much and I judge myself for not being able to do simple things.  But when I listened to myself yesterday it suddenly made sense that if I can't do A I also can't do B.  My example at the time was laundry.  It often takes me multiple washings to get a load done because I start them, forget them, they stink, I re-wash once or twice and even when they finally are dry I usually forget to retrieve them until I wonder why I have no socks to be found.  I didn't really explain all this to Dr. Mind.

Usually it is better to focus on positive (ie, yay, I slept).  But a realistic picture is good too.  So I thought I'd list things and yes or no them.  This is how the insurance form is.  I am, however, going to make some places that the answer is no because I can't consistently do it but I am doing it some and you will see (if I let you read this) that I need some sort-ofs to make up for a zillion no's.

So, here goes:

Laundry sort of
Vaccuming No
Picking up sort of
Mailing things no
Dishes No (bare minimums and don't use many)
Cooking No
Mopping No
Changing sheets Sort of (needs to be more frequent)
Showering Sort of (better than pre-hospital but still not daily)
Taking Night meds Yes
Taking morning meds Sort of (forget a lot)
Cat feeding Yes
Litter boxes Sort of (forget until they smell)
Going to the bank sort of (tend to hold checks as long as possible)
Knitting yes
Reading sort of (children's books)
Grocery Shopping sort of (always forget things, difficulty with decisions makes it take forever)
Car care No
Getting Dressed sort of (tend to hang out in pajamas unless I have to do otherwise)
Hair care sort of (see above)
Oral hygiene sort of  (forget sometimes but better than other things)
Med management sort of (hard to remember to place orders)
Paying bills sort of (tend to be right at deadlines; car payment late partly because I forgot how my online banking works)
Working No
Making appointments No
Phone calls No
Going to appointments Yes
Wormie care No.  Neglect is showing in my population.  Probably will have to start over.

Undoubtedly there are more.  But I am strangely ok with this huge list of things I can't do (more or less).  Because if I see this and know that well me couldn't stand this stuff it is easier to know I am not well.  Probably makes no sense to anyone but me.

1 comment:

Michal Ann said...

Hmmm...I should make my own list!

I've been reading children's books lately. I got them for children, remembering them from childhood and realizing that they are worthy of re-reading and are easier to read than the serious stuff I've gathered over the years. I tend to read only non-fiction partly because I don't trust myself to put down a good novel until I've devoured it.

You have displayed a tremendous amount of self-government over the years. I know your list will change for the better and this is a good status check for now.

You can add "blogging" and "email correspondence" YES!

Don't forget Aunnnnt Jen.

With great respect, Michal