Everything in bipolar is up and down. Which is implied by the name. What is not necessarily so obvious is that it is impossible to predict the things that hurt because of this.
I slept about 3 hours last night and then like yesterday was able to lie/lay/whatever still and just rest for a while. Far from perfect but something. I just wish I could get enough sleep that my eyes didn't feel tired. I know that sounds weird, but tired, burning eyes are just uncomfortable enough to keep me from forgetting that while sleep is good I am still not getting enough. But I'm still so tired that I'm doing dumb things. I was sick last night because I thought it was ok to eat yogurt past the experation date. That would be wrong and was a chance to try my sanitize cycle on my washer. Ick. I heated pizza for supper and promptly dumped it on the floor. Thankfully it was a small sized pizza and so I still had a 2nd half that I was saving. Or not.
But today's biggest disappointment? OTs have a national certification that is renewed every 3 years, requring 36 continuing ed credits, and then the states dictate that licensure. In Ohio I renew that every 2 years. My next renewal is 2013 for state and national is the 31st, which may be today or tomorrow, I don't really know. Or the day after? I haven't done the daily repeated calendar checks today. Anyway, I've been laboriously getting my credits together and finishing the last few (that was a trip what with no sleep and no comprehension and I will not deny that I filled in a lot of bubbles based on where I knew I should be and probably was because of my years practicing. I was as honest as I could be, it's just it was too technical. And not understanding tehnical is why I'm not working. Over the next year as I try to get my credits for renewal I'll have to both choose easier classes and also ones that I am not expected to master a lot of information. I probably need to start working on those hours. Right now I think I have 3 from training at work but 17 is a lot. And a lot of money.
Anyway, disappointment. I really struggle right now with reminders all is not well. And when it asked my practice area and I had to answer not practicing I got a little teary. But then the next page indicated that because I had a certain number of credits in my practice area (had I had one) that I could have gotten a little stamp or something. It's meaningless in most ways. Except that I did earn it, I just don't have a practice area so I had to decline.
Now i have one more thing I meant to do today. I just don't know what it was. This is another game I really could live without.
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