I got nothing done this weekend. I moved stuff out of the bathroom for painting, then didn't paint. That will be stupid by next weekend when I have more window estimates and will need things neat and tidy again. I seriously doubt I'll have time to paint, so I'm likely to be either moving the bathroom stuff back this Friday or stuffing it in some closet and having a weird, empty bathroom when people come. I really don't care though what they think, I just want good prices.
I feel oddly depressed. That's been going on for a week or so, off and on, but right now it feels much more real. I think that is mainly the dream though. It was so scary, and I'm struggling with the idea that some of it was real. The problem is that I have absolutely no clear memory that such a thing happened, and no way to know if what might be a fuzzy one is true. Essentially the dream is based on something that did happen. My mother tried to leave and my father got out a gun to kill the pets. She stayed, the pets lived. I was away when this happened and found out about it when my mother told me, so I have no memories of it. The dream now is that he is forcing me to watch him shoot the pets I have and my mother has now. Clearly that part is made up. But I do know that something in my past makes me terrified of guns, and we had so many pets. There is no way for me to remember all of them, much less what happened to all of them, and so maybe I saw something/was forced to see something scary? I have no clue. I don't want to know that one.
I just can't explain how tired I am and how much I want to sleep and not work this week. Last week was totally draining and I'm not ready to go back. If I don't sleep I'm going to take a sick day, but that just means working Saturday and I'm not interested in that. Tomorrow I'm scheduled for 8 hours already, and I have to do paperwork from Friday, when I had to leave due to being biohazardous.
I guess I really should change my sheets and then get ready for bed. I'm hoping to be asleep by 9:30 or 10:00. I'm also hoping that I don't work long hours this week. If I can just get home by 7 or 7:30 then I can actually rest and start to feel ok again.
I can't believe how short this weekend was. I also can't believe I used to sleep like that all the time. I don't know how I survived.