Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Can it only be 1:30?

I can't believe how stressed I am. I am angry with my insurance. Our appeal worked in that I"m allowed weekly visits (previously they said I could have only every other week) , but I also was told that my extra visits during the time I wasd doing badly recently weren't justified because I was functioning as usual, not in crisis, and I am coorperative with care. They are refusing to call a drop off 33% on their own functional scale in a one month period significant or a crisis? I guess they'd prefer I not get appropriate treatment as proven by years of trial and error and instead I should wind up on disability and then they'll think about providing care at the level that the people treating me for years have determined is appropriate? Because not cooperating with care is a good reason to get more visits? In that case wait to see what I can do...........I don't get where they get this. There is clinical documentation on qualitiative scales showing how much worse I was doing. Yes, NOW I am functioning as per usual. Then? Not so much. Unless they consider panic attacks, nightmares, not sleeping, severe and extreme anxiety to be "normal". This means I'm going to owe the counseling center a considerable amount of money, and I prioritize paying them. So great, more money stress.

Then I got to my mother's to finish pet-sitting. I've been through all this worry b/c her cat is very old and has been declining for a while and declining a lot more recently. Well, I left a note with about 15 suggested things to feed her, descriptions of how to give a tablesppon every couple hours, and that she was doing really well with my new concoction. I found out 2 days ago she's barely eaten and has been hiding in the basement. Today's note aid she's had nothing to eat.

I'm really angry because the pet sitter didn't listen. She gave her one food and canned food and none of hte other 15 things that tempt her to eat a little. Nothing else was touched. Well, variety is really, really important for her and no wonder she's not eaten. I got really scared when I got here because the note said she was in the basement. She was upstairs, but I was searching for her body. Then I got her some food and she tasted it and the other cat shoved her away and I couldn't get her to take anything else because she insisted on going outside. She did taste some milk. I don't want her outside because I don't want her to not come back.

My mom is going to be unhappy because the pet sitter had someone else take care of the pets at least once and I know that was not with permission.

I'm unbelievably annoyed at everything. I should have moved myself and my cats here for the week and I bet the cat would be ok (I'm pretty sure she's now going to die) for a while longer, and the dogs would have had better care. This petsitter has worked for both of us for years and always done great. This time she didn't even empty the dishwasher and put her things in it.

Also, I don't feel very good, I think because I'm tired. And nothing sounds good and i need to eat. I have so much sewing to do and I really want a nap. Plus if I nap I'll have trouble sleeping later.


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