Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13
Friday, June 18, 2010
So I let my mother know I've been sick. She agreed I have to be healthy to be near my sister. I told her I'll bring stuff down in the morning if I'm not able to go so she can take it. She said no, I'd have to bring it down to meet the person I'm supposed to ride with, because I "HAVE" to let the dogs out. Now, I agreed to do this. However, sick is sick and if I'm unwell then maybe the demand is too much??? Of course, this is the same person who convinced me that I'd be fine dog-sitting the day after I was hit the hardest by my lithium toxicity, and that was possibly the scariest night of my life as I vomited up everything I'd eaten in about 2 days, vomited so hard while laying on the bathroom floor that I peed my pants and then was so sick I laid in that for about an hour, so sick that I was sipping measured teaspoons of water every 30 minutes trying to get something down because I know dehydration would make the toxicity worse, and so sick I left messages for both my family doctor and my psychiatrist at 4 AM begging for help. I waited until then because by that point I was fairly sure I wasn't going to die immediately. (Why I didn't go to the emergency room is much like why I didn't think ankle sprain #1 this year was worthwhile until it led to ankle sprain #2, and why I didn't think that either of my 2 prior sprains or my FRACTURE was a big deal either, and why I am a therapist who didn't notice the damage she was doing to her ankle for years, and even when she knew it was injured refused to see the severity until it was shoved in her face with Xrays with angles drawn showing how far off everything in her whole foot was. Until I saw those Xrays I truly thought this was going to heal and I'd get out of the brace.) Plus there wasn't anywhere within an hour of here that had psych capacity and I couldn't go that far. Anyway, that morning my doctor got me in as his first patient, leapfrogging over everyone else in the waiting room and I had bloodwork done stat and waited there to see if I had to be admitted for hydration and monitoring, while he called Dr. Brain. Come to think of it I probably had him pretty scared as I bet that was the first time he'd ever seen lithium toxicity; he'd only been practicing about 9 months. I was a very, very sick girl, and I left with nausea meds, orders to call in for suppositories if those didn't stay down within 2 hours, clear fluids for 24 hours and a follow-up the next day. Yet I proceeded to dogsit, despite the fact that I was hallucinating because a side effect of phenergan not listed as a side effect but a random statement in the drug facts that isn't obvious when the dr. checked is the sentence "may cause hallucinations in those suspectible". Well, meet susceptible. My terrifying night was followed by a terrifying day as I tried to sort out real from not.
So yeah, no matter what, I guess the dogs come first......
(Meet Bitter, Tired,and Frustrated, the Just Me sisters)
Over the years I have noticed that when I have the least hope a rainbow appears. Rainbows are a wonderful combination of beauty, hope, happiness and rain, the product of ugly grey clouds that hide the beauty of the sky. The beauty that is a rainbow can only come with the presence of both rain and sun. Such is life with bipolar disorder. There are good times, there are tough times, and there are rainbows to remind us that beauty will return, sometimes fleetingly and sometimes for a long time. This blog is my story of sadness and hope. Please scroll down to "Who I Am" under Pages to read more about me and the people who populate this blog.
Please note that any patient experiences noted in this blog are heavily edited to disguise events. Similarities to real persons are coincidental.
Please also know that while I speak as a professional at times, I am not a doctor. I have strong opinions, some based on professional training and/or experience, some based on research, and some based on personal experience of my own variety of this illness. Therefore what I say is my opinion, not a fact and doctors should always be consulted.