I've taken a few days off of the blog because I just didn't feel like it, and because I needed to cope with some feelings I've had about the blog lately.
This is a essentially my diary and I allow you to read it, just like the other zillions of bloggers. I write here because it helps me and I want to interact with others with my struggles. I often am writing about the more negative parts of my life because that is what I'm struggling with. I am not hyperfocused on negativity if you actually spend time with me, but I can see how that may come across. On the other hand, right now I have felt bad every day for almost 3 months, I have barely had any good sleep in all that time, I'm having side effects that make me feel pretty bad at times.
I read lots of blogs. I know how easy it is to assume that you know the author. But that's not true. You know whatever part of what I'm thinking about at any given minute. Right now I am cycling so fast that I can be at extreme ends in just a couple of minutes. That means essentially nothing I write is necessarily going to reflect what I feel in another 10 minutes.
Lately I've gotten several emails and/or comments that were of the "be thankful for what you've got" variety. We all, I imagine, have experienced this. I also have other bad associations with that kind of talk which I don't want to go into right now. But I kind of hit a point in the last week where a lot of my grumpiness got focused on this blog hurting me. Everything about it seemed wrong, from a template issue to it seemed like nobody was understanding me. I decided the best thing was to back away for a bit.
I think I'm willing to come back and try again. Just please don't be insulted if you somehow feel my sensitivity. Speak up politely if you do.