Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


I heard back from Dr. Brain and got permission to increase my anti-depressant today and once more if needed. This is frightening territory as too much anti-depressant makes me manic. I do not need manic, especially because with my history of mixed episodes I might not switch from depressed to manic but instead become mixed and mixed is torture. I hate mania, but mixed is much, much, much worse.

It's going to be hard next week. Dr. Brain and Dr. Mind both are on vacation. Usually they go a week apart, coincidentally (they aren't in the same practice or anything). I can still contact Dr. Brain, but I will not do that unless it's desperate, and if it's desperate I'll contact the pager.

I just got the suicide lecture. I hate being in a place where that comes out.

I just wish I could blink and make this end.


Emilija said...

I'm sorry about your job. The fact that they wouldn't tell you why is just terrible. They should at least have the decency to tell you why, give you feedback. This is a hard profession- too much pressure, too much paperwork, too many patients, not enough time. And the pressure to bill more and more. Sometimes it is hard to remember what it is all about.

Just Me said...

Thanks E. It is just wrong that they wouldn't tell me. However, I think I know now. Like I said I was dealing with ethical issues with my COTAs. I think they wanted to shut me up. And they never posted the position, so apparently they actually hired someone for my job and then waited until that person was ready to start, then fired me. Which they have the right to do, although I think morally saying "we have someone who we think will do this better than you" would be more fair. They also could have given me some warning. I spent almost $600 on a CEU (when including gas, motel, food) the week before and because of the procedure to get reimbursed they never gave me a chance to get the amount I should have been reimbursed. It was an incredible class that I'm very glad I took, but I wouldn't have spent all that had I known.