Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Monday, July 20, 2009

One step

Today I spoke to a recruiter, heard from another recruiter, contacted another, and have a list of a few more. I also applied for unemployment. I also got all kinds of annoying news, like I was not given a true answer when I asked if they would accept a resignation rather than firing me. I was told that this was an HR call. Well, HR acted like it was the dumbest thing they'd ever heard and it was the supervisor's call. So, they'll just have to pay unemployment. They said they wouldn't contest it. Well, they better not. It is a bit hard to fight it when they will not tell you a reason for letting you go. "It's not working out" not being a reason, at least in my book.

I saw Dr. Mind today. He was speechless. Which about goes with how I feel. I also feel depressed. Big surprise there. I'm not eating. I just am not the least bit hungry. All I've had to eat today is a brownie, most of a cucumber, a tiny bit of soup, and a roll. This is not good. I'm going to make myself eat some cereal in a few minutes with my meds.

For the most part I feel like crying and crying, but I'm scared to even start. I'm scared of letting this depression take off. I know I don't really control it, but I am afraid of what will happen. I'm not pushing tremendously hard on the jobs this week. I need a little time to recover.

This just makes no sense. I don't want to go into the backstory here, but it was one of those situations where the only thing that was going on was not something where I was wrong. I think it was easier to shut me up than it was to deal with the real issue. I could never prove this, but I think it is true.

Anyway, not liking life much right now.

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