The last 6 weeks of the year always, always are bad in therapy. Lots of sick people, usually lots of broken bones, lots of cardiac issues as snow comes, lots of elective surgery put off for when the weather is bad.
This year is as intense as usual, but my assistant at the place I spend a small part of my time is sick. So the last 2 days have been really, really insanely busy and I'm still trying to manage my life, which means that I still have to buy kitty litter and the like. And so I'm completely exhausted. I'm doing way too much and I'm not sure how to back off.
Everything is stressful. I want Christmas gifts wrapped and out of my house (I don't really wrap, we use re-usable boxes for environmental reasons), and so I've worked on that from time to time. I still don't feel wonderful, and that's stressful. People are stressing me out. I was booked into a slot with Dr. Mind this Monday that was already booked, so I've been without him for a week and that's still a long time.
This is the first time I've even gotten to try to eat whatever I called dinner before 9 pm this week.
I just feel like I don't have time for the things I WANT to do, I'm just existing and doing what has to be done beyond that. It's normal for this time of year, which is also just generally hard for me, but it's worse this year because I'm still fighting depression (more since I got sick and then was off meds and am still working my way back to my seroquel dose and even more because things are going smoothly at work and because I'm having trouble with not letting my frustration with my manager show. She is getting on my nerves constantly and it's mainly because I'm very angry with her because I just overdrafted my bank out thanks to not getting paid last week because she didn't take the 30 seconds to fax my timesheet despite repeated requests from me and my employer.
So that's why I'm quiet. I am likely to be quiet until Saturday, and more quiet than usual until Christmas is over. In general I have a hard time from now until my mid-January birthday thanks to my own set of bad memories, combined with all the stress. Hence the wanting the gift-boxing stuff done NOW.
Anyway, my food is ready and I'm trying real food for the first time in almost 2 weeks, so here goes nothing.