Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Thursday, December 03, 2009


I should be writing about how thankful I am that psychologically I'm much, much better, Dr. Mind isn't worried about me like a few days ago, and even he, Dr. totally conservative about this, agrees that suicidal watch 2009 is about over. We'll see how much longer he assesses it, but at least the end is in sight.

But I am so, so, so tired of nausea. Dr. Mind sent me home early to go to bed. I had to finish a few things at work, then pick up a prescription (like every day lately). I got home, took meds, and ate 2 pieces of toast with jam. My mistake was thinking I was all wonderful and eating a few pieces of chocolate after work. And trying to get off the zofran. For me, I have no idea how common this is, that stuff causes serious headaches, one after each and every dose. And since I must get back on my lithium dose I can't skip it to take ibuproferon, so I'm stuck with tylenol that does nothing. The headaches are draining my ability to function. I made it until just about lunch without one, then started getting queasy, which lasted a pretty long time. Then I felt better, then had my horrid headache, then felt ok until I ate and then it was back to zofran again because I can't sleep because my 2 pieces of toast made me sick.

It has been a week tomorrow since I ate anything but: toast with small amounts of jelly, homemade chicken soup (must be homemade because of control of what is appetizing, going to have to make more), jello, nutrigrain bars, a few ginger snaps, dry cheerios, crushed ice, that idiotic bit of chocolate, and a pudding cup, which actually was a good experience. (who knows). Things are still so messed up that I'm not even wanting to drink water, which I'm usually a guzzler of. Mainly gatorade appeals, so I'm drinking lots of it, some water, and ginger ale. Which I am nearly out of and so will have to go to the store to get more tomorrow. I'm really tired of store trips this week, I keep needing meds........

If I'm not able to eat substantially more by Monday and can't get off the zofran by Monday I'll have to go back to the doctor. And that's going to open that whole appendix mess up again, I'm afraid. Or something. I'm already past the deadline for everything to be all well, but I'm assuming my taking immodium, something I really shouldn't take because of my usual opposite problem, is at partial fault there. Or something else, because there is no way nausea should last this long from a bug.

I just want to sleep. And I've got about 30 minutes before the nausea should end......Blech.

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