Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

This one is for Julia

Julia, for years I've been telling you that Gage will conquer his issues. I think I just proved it.

I was diagnosed (with bipolar; the other diagnoses are much older) nearly 8 years ago. In all that time if I hit a certain level of decline then there was no recovery without disability, threats of hospitalization, etc. I was learning to cope, but learning to control the illness was harder. Over the years I have learned to react and get help, but I've never managed to turn things around without damaging my life.

Yesterday when I talked to Dr. Mind I suddenly realized that not only am I feeling better, I am feeling better without losing everything, without disability, and without hospitalization. For the first time ever I managed (with a lot of help) to turn things around just by talking to Dr. Mind a lot and managing my anxiety meds (which I figured out myself, with Dr. Brain's approval).

I did it. So can he. So can anyone else who thinks they never will. Four years ago I was so extremely sick and barely staying out of the hospital, and battling lithium toxicity, and literally not even able to control my crying (I think I cried for a whole month straight, or so it seemed), and now I'm learning to control it.


Jean Grey said...

This was a major transition for me-getting to the place where things can get bad, but that I can catch it in time and make adjustments before everything falls apart, and I lose everything. I'm glad you are there!

Julia said...

You should know J, that I am counting on it. You give me hope for my Gage.