Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Didn't mean to leave you all hanging

Soyiimama (I'm sorry, I know I'm butchering that) left the following comment:

I've been thinking about you and the outcome of this brave and necessary act. It's truly awesome that you did such a difficult thing, and it just further shows your strength, among other things. Have you heard back from your sister?

I am so sorry for the pain and anxiety you must be feeling.

I haven't really meant to leave you all hanging. Truthfully, I'm hanging. I've had no answer from her whatsoever. I even checked last night to be sure I sent the thing. I did. So apparently we're following our fine family tradition of ignoring what is uncomfortable. Which I guess I can live with; I said what I needed to say and how she reacts is up to her. Either she understands or she doesn't.

This has just been a BUSY week. I am taking Friday off for a follow-up with my podiatrist about my MRIs and to prepare for my sister's baby shower which is Saturday. Since they are in the process of hiring a substitute for me but haven't completed the process yet that's meant that I had to get all my visits done in 3 1/2 days instead of my usual 4 1/2 (although I work 40 hours in those days). I'm probably going to get about 4 hours of vacation time out of the week in total. That's ok though, at least I have the illusion of a day off, even if it's going to be BUSY. I'm sewing every free minute trying to finish things. Some things I totally gave up on until the baby is here or during the last few weeks of waiting in favor of increasing how much I get done of other things.

I'll post some pictures on my other blog in the next few days of what all I've been spending all my time doing. I'm really proud of myself because I made a blanket, binding included which is so soft and cute and not messed up much at all (everything I do still have small errors). The errors on this are hard to find and really have more to do with my machine not being equipped to do what I made it do.

I am also very excited today because I got up the nerve to tell my supervisor that if they are willing to wait out my contractual obligations and hold a position for me during that that I am very interested. She said they are also VERY interested in me, said lots of nice things, and well, basically I have a permanent job awaiting in a few months (I have to do another contract with my agency before I can sign on permanently). And can we say paid holidays? I have NEVER had one of those. In theory I have, but in reality I have always worked the weekend before or after or on the holiday because the treatments had to be covered somehow. Plus 3 weeks of vacation. And I'll get to continue doing what I've fallen totally in love with. This is what I wanted therapy to be, what therapy was for the years I worked in psych and had a lot more leeway. This lets me be an overall healthcare provider instead of constantly having to ask people with much less education to assess what I'm saying, generally with disagreement just because they don't like a therapist telling them what to do. It's very team oriented, but it is also very autonomous. I think I'd reached a point where I no longer could stand physical therapy assistants with less experience than I have telling me how to do my job. Here, pretty much Ot is what I say it is, and that's great. Staying means that I'll always have the benefit of being the OT who developed the program and that's going to mean that I'll be in a seniority position just by default. Which means I'll get to make decisions that make me happy. I'll talk more sometime about how awesome the people I work with are, but for now I need to get to sleep because tomorrow is insanely busy because I have a lot to do and only a short time to do it, and a lot of driving, and I need to get to the City where I see Dr. Mind a few hours early to do some errands. So I want to have all my paperwork from today done by the time I leave in the morning. Which means I really should try to finish out one of the two so I can still sew. I also should shower but I don't want ot stand up anymore. I really am saying all this, but I'm going to be asleep in about 20 minutes I suspect. Too much work and too many emotions.....

So anyway, thanks for asking and thanks for the support. I really am ok. I have been too busy to think a lot about it, and if nothing else sending it made me less emotional for the moment. I might get through the shower without tears.

More Friday probably. I'm sure I'll want to tell you all about my scary ankles......

1 comment:

Michal Ann said...

Do you have any idea how busy you are??? And don't worry about crying in the shower. It might be just the place to get out some of your feelings. Good job(s)!!!

You have SO much to look forward to. I'm thrilled with your excitement about your OT job.

Such blessings abounding. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow. No matter what. Very challenging. Beats the alternative. Sigh.