I set up the Wii in my bedroom the other day. I want the TV to be in here so I only turn it on when I'm in the beginning of the bedtime relaxation thing (hours before I even try to sleep). My old cat will not walk in the room when it's on, even if I am not moving. I must have stepped on her at some point in the past. Note: Not exercising just yet, just burning off agitation however possible.
Anyway the real reason for the post is to say that Dr. Mind took under 5 minutes to get how overloaded I was and changed completely to a type of treatment we do occasionally that combines relaxation and prayer. Aside from a brief review of my issues with safety 2 nights ago (that I suspect Dr. Brain had emailed him since he had little reaction and did not seem surprised, nor did he argue with my choice of not talking to the crisis line people when I explained my reasons).
I had the strangest thing happen today. I was a little teary-eyed but not crying and then suddenly a tear that I never felt in my eye was running down my face, like it jumped out of my eye. It was an odd sensation.
He walked out with me and when I started to go told me that it's going to be ok and I'll get through this. I shook my head no and he sort of laughed because he knows that's my way of saying I HATE it but will do it if he says so (and for other reasons but right now those are lost) and then I just said "it's so hard" and he said he knew that.
I am going to get some rest the next few days I hope and then I hope Monday we can do the hard part. Well, the next hard part. Not sure if I feel totally ready but we need to. And I'll never find it fun. I have some big questions as well but probably only one thing can get done that day. Tonight I'm going to take a sleeping pill for real (deadline is midnight) and hopefully tomorrow get lots of rest.
So hopefully tonight gets me enough rest to feel like I can handle a few more days.
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