Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Promises Promises

So today I have kept the promise made to Dr. Mind 10 days ago. I have done NOTHING. I have worked on a bib. That is it. Oh, and I peeled the foam off of my cat's window perch so I can replace it with cleaner foam. Otherwise I have rested.

I feel a bit better, I guess. I haven't had to take anything for anxiety, although I need some now (but it's pill time so my body is also used to starting to get sleepy now.) That's in contrast to last night when a trip to Walmart for food had me so anxious I had to swallow a Klonopin while in line, without water. I still feel like my mind is on overload. I need to get away from stress somehow. I need to figure out my day off remaining this contract to have something to look forward to. I can do that after Tuesday, which is when I should find out if my doctor succeeded in getting me into urologist #2.

I don't feel as relaxed as I should after a day of nothing but tomorrow is also a day of nothing. I have to run my mother's very early Mother's Day gift (it needs to be planted ASAP) down to her house, but she won't even be there so I will be doing a drop and run. That 2nd day off should help.

One thing I will say from the week, adjusting to orthotics in the shoes is harder than I thought, but they do help. I've adjusted extremely well, wearing them full-time on day two, when that could have taken a week or more. They aren't entirely comfortable for that long, but the discomfort is no worse or better than it is without them. It's generally one foot that gets sore, and then the other is angry is I take the orthotics out. It has been odd learning to walk with my ankle back somewhat is line with normal, and with resistance to turning in. I had no clue how much I did that naturally. My other foot has been angry all day today. I'm not sure if that is because the slippers I wear in the house have no arch support (so I'm going barefoot, which I hate, but whatever) or because they are tired from the week. Regardless, one week down, 3-4 weeks until they are 80% effective. I never knew they were so slow to work well. I never really considered that they could hurt, in fact. I just hope they do their job. So far they seem to, but only time will tell.

I also promised Dr. Mind to do a lot of writing about what is on my mind. I haven't done that quite as much on here especially as I probably could have, but some of it I'm not ready to talk about, some of it would need more context than I want to give here, at least right now when I'm not sure about what I'm already thinking, and some of it just better was talked about with a friend. That's sort of the problem with what is on my mind being incredibly personal; I will talk about things here, but I really need to have thought it out first or I say things in a way I'm not comfortable with. I think, that I have met my promised amount of writing. Now I have just another 5 days to survive until I can talk. Or 2, if there happens to be a last minute opening on Monday that I can fit into my schedule. Sooooooooo not likely.

I also have to get up my strength and courage for a difficult talk with work. I actually have to stand up for myself and not let them make me so stressed. This is not my idea of fun.

Getting sleepy. Haven't even had meds. Won't sleep for several hours but not much fun to read when all I want to do is close my eyes......

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