This isn't so easy.......

Yesterday included a call from my boss telling me that after having received nothing but positive reports about me for 9 months this week the report listed various problems that we had to discuss. There wasn't really anything that was new; it's just that they took all the things I've been telling them for weeks (ie, I'm not bieng scheduled so I can be productive, I'm behind on paperwork and don't have time to make it up) and suddenly they are upset about it. It's not like I've not tried to tell them, I have. I can even show with numbers that I'm not making it up nor am I wasting time, I'm doing the schedule they give me which is an impossible schedule.

At one place, for example, I was scheduled for 4.2 hours. Keep in mind that I have many, many charts that need to be done and that I worked on those for a while during dinner. The only way to get extra time to do things like that out of my schedule and still be on time and productive is to do more than one treatment together. I have asked for a schedule that allows this. Instead I had:

1 50 minute treatment on someone in bed, therefore 1:1

1 15 minute treatment spent trying to convince someone to try treatment that she positively refused (therefore losing the ability to overlap the only 2 people I could) (1:1)

1 30 minute treatment 1:1 because I had no choice

1 eval that was complicated because the patient was delirious and kept taking her clothes off and thought I was "the drunk" and so didn't want to do things; It 's true that stripping does afford a great OT eval, but it took a lot of extra time to calm her and then to calm her freaked out husband. Therefore the eval was 15 minutes longer than usual, possibly 30 minutes more than scheduled since they schedule eval minutes differently and I never really know. (Evals are obviously 1:1)

At least 15 minutes following up on someone who had sudden onset serious issues that I'd been waiting to assess until she saw her neurologist because I suspected (accurately) that she had disease progression I couldn't help. Nonbillable, nonavoidable.

10 minutes of order writing.

2 40 minute individual treatments

5-10 minutes of travel between buildings

30 minutes of travel to get to that building that they count against me unless I fight.

And I did about 45-60 minutes worth of old charts which were laying out as ones I should specifically try to address that day. So I did. Oh, and I did some filing and I think that was on my own time too.

4.2 billable hours, at least 25 minutes of stuff I'm responsible for that I can't bill for, 45 minutes of travel, and time to do non-billables. And it was complained that I was scheduled for 3 hours of treatment and was there 5. Now, what part would they like me not to do? And I ate some of that time; i took a lunch break for a bit to reduce my time.

In contrast, when given patients I could overlap and the like, yesterday I was 90% (my requirement) with about 7.5 hours of treatment in 7.75 hours because I could overlap and group and gain time that way. Then I stayed afterwards and all charts in that building are done.

I have to admit a certain gleefulness though that is bad. (True confession #1. True confession #2 is coming). The OTR before me was fired for general laziness and not doing well, anything. There is a drawer I've always known contained a bunch of OT charts but never looked into any of them because I had no need. I"ve also always wondered where on earth his notes were as they were never in the hard charts. So yesterday someone calls about charts on someone we finished with not long ago. I started digging in there and discovered that there are about maybe 80 charts in there from 2008 and who knows when else that the originals have never been filed. He must have just shoved them there and nobody ever looked. So someone did something WAY worse than I ever have......

And confession #2......Every year for OT month I give my assistants some OT promotional items--a coffee cup, pens, plus candy, etc and a note thanking them. This year I ordered the stuff. And I realized that I do not feel like thanking them. One has always been slightly rude and distant with me. She has no reason to dislike me that I know of; she acted like this when I first met her. Another is great but isn't really working my building anymore. And the 3rd is the one who kept missing work and started this whole mess I'm in. So I'm keeping my things. I don't care how petty it is, or how much of a waste of money or whatever, I am not thanking people who are making me feel bad.

So anyway, I'm just really stressed and feeling like I suck, and knowing that's not true because having 9 months of positive reports and then a negative one when I quit isn't very realistic. But I still know that with my work history anything that looks bad is bad. And it's hard to be treated rudely and be talked about when I'm in the room, etc. Or to have people tell me one thing and my boss another. We know that happened because I heard complaining about something, was upset and left my boss a message. She didn't take the call because she was on the phone hearing that complaint. When I talked to the person who was complaining about it later she lied to me.

I also still have no idea where I'm going. I keep focusing on the fact that I'm fine financially even if I don't work for a couple weeks (thanks to complex financial maneuvering that lets me hang onto the money I spent on windows today for a while interest free), but still, it's really rough to not know and I also just never thought leaving would be like this. Things have gone well, I thought I could leave and it would go well.

So anyway, work kinda sucks. But, on the positive side, I have lots of OT mugs now.....:)And I am getting new windows that are gonna look so pretty......