It also was a very good time to buy a house. Besides that I had learned that apartment living made me paranoid and afraid and annoyed by other people a great deal of the time. This was enhanced by having 2 experiences where maintenance walked in while I was drying my hair and scared me and then another time the new person thought my apartment was the model (next door) and caught me in bed and terrified.
When I first lived here it was with a lot of fear. I didn't feel safe. I was so nervous that I kept the door between my garage and kitchen deadbolted, even though the garage was locked tightly. I would be frightened by any noise or seeming change. It took a long time relax and feel like home was safe and truly mine.
I worked really hard at it and now home is a safe place that I love.
In trying to help me relax Dr. Mind asked the other day if I had a safe place. He meant mentally and we talked about it some. The plan is to make a relaxation tape today, so I decided to bring a few pictures in so he'd know what I was describing better. What I learned was that there is no wonder safety is so hard. I had so many pictures of places that once were safe and now only bring sad memories.
Thankfully that's not true of everything, but that IS sad. And comforting as I know now that I have a reason to feel unsafe so much of the time.