Major victory

I've talked on here before about my having had blood in my urine for years and after years of refusing to do more invasive testing than a CT (with oral contrast and considering my gag reflex that was PLENTY invasive--the hospital was being re-designed and the building I was in due to close in a matter of days, so the only private place I could drink and gag was the bathroom. I'm very much NOT into eating in public bathrooms.....). Back in November I was severely dehydrated and after many hours of not urinating was horrified to find that my urine was full of huge clots, yet I did not have a UTI. So I agreed to further testing.

The process has been slow because of issues with both my schedule and Dr. Body's. Then the first doctor I saw was the least understanding, most difficult to deal with dr. I have ever seen regarding anything where sexual abuse affects things. She was the only doctor "locally" (in quotes because she's an hour away from me) so then we had to find a doctor at the Cleveland Clinic and then get the referral through etc. So yesterday I went to see her.

I chose her because she is a gynecologist with a specialization in urological disorders and so I knew she'd be more likely to have training in sexual assault victims. And she was also young, which seems to help.

She was WONDERFUL. As in I went in prepared (and having promised Dr. Mind) that I would just talk to her, no procedures. She explained what she needed to do (surprise Dr. 1! An exam actually is a good idea....) and I felt ok about it, especially knowing I could yell stop at any second. Well, I had the first pelvic of my life that wasn't tremendously painful, scary, and she was so good at distracting me that I was laughing during part of it. I also had a straight cath and it appears one of my old issues, urinary retention, still is playing a role in all this. We figured that would go away when I went off the old antidepressant. I did so well that I'm going to try the cystoscopy without being knocked out and if I can't do it then we'll move on to anesthesia. Makes me happy because it saves me a lot of $, and I also feel really tough for being able to think about this.

So, not only do I have a doctor to do this no-longer-nearly-so-scary procedure, I have a gynecologist I like and trust.

I also think I may have a UTI, but that is not exactly a surprise for me......