Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, May 26, 2012


 I am living with a lot of them.  Some of them are really ugly.  For perspective I am focusing on a hat I made yesterday.  It fits loosely on my index and m iddle fingers and doesn't completely cover the fingers.  It is an early loss hat and someday someone will be handed the body of their premature, ill from conception, baby wearing that hat.  I always pray for the families of each baby who gets a hat as I finish the hat, but these tiny ones are the saddest thing ever.

Having said that, what I am writing is very hard.  New memories, things make sense finally, the resultis of something that happened.  All of it is sad and hard to think about.  It's also hard to make it readable instead of the list I prefer.  But I DO need to say these words so they need to be written.  I'm hoping tonight they don't have to be written at 2 AM.

Michal is right, I did apparently stop writing mid-sentence yesterday.  In reality it is something my computer does.  It is getting old and weird and it will randomly delete things or move my cursor someplace new.   On email it frequently just closes my draft.  That story was just that the financial services person made things so much easier.  I had sent my renewal (every 3 months) for financial assistance in  weeks ago but found out a few days ago it was denied on the basis of my having insurance.  I was supposed to reapply and had to print out something to complete the application when they called.  She took all the information over the phone and when I got to the dr. this week I have to simply ask to see the financial person so I can sign it.  I'm already approved now for my next 3 months.  This was my first approval after getting SSDI so I'm glad that it was still 100%.

Otherwise I don't even know what I did today.  My mind is really working hard.
Copyright 2006 www.masterofirony.blogspot.com

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Jen, you are such a wonderful and caring woman.

Here you are in the midst of your very difficult healing process, and yet you choose to not feel sorry for yourself, rather to focus on others. I hope you realize how special you are!

"Things make sense finally" - I have to wonder how that feels. Is there a bit of "freedom" or comfort in that? Does it help you?

You were right when you said previously that this is your full time job now. And just as before, you are rocking it. I don't suppose it feels that way, but it sure seems that you have made a TON of progress in a relatively short time. Are your PTSD symptoms waning now too? Can you sleep?

Keep on following that rainbow Jen. Seems to me you're getting closer and closer!

Anything specific that we should be praying about now days?