What's happening now

My life has gotten very stressful in the last few days. As I'd mentioned I had reached the point that the stress of work had gotten to be excessive, because I was being scheduled in a way that made it hard to not have overtime, yet also made it hard to reach my productivity requirement. I even tracked this to make sure it wasn't something I was doing. It was not. On top of that I've taken on whatever they have asked, whether it was working a billion hours or changing the structure of my contract to changing how they wanted me to work after 5 months to going to a place I'm not even contracted to cover. I have known that the stress was too much and talked to my boss about it. We agreed that she'd start looking for another placement, and I would talk to where I was to see if it could be resolved.

Last week there was an "incident" where I made a small mistake and a very dramatic patient turned it into a huge thing. Nobody cared; they all knew the context. I was not to even tell my boss because they weren't, I was "an excellent therapist", and was I interested in staying permanently. Then they said they were surprised the stress hadn't hit previously after so much stress for so long.

Ultimately this led to conference call where I tried to explain the stress connection and what the stress is. The person I was speaking to kept insisting it was my fault that I didn't have things under control, despite the fact I can mathematically prove otherwise. I was told to bring suggestions and they'd figure things out Monday. So the "figuring things out" was done before I gave them suggestions and came down to "it's Jen's fault".

I called and requested a contract change. They are trying very hard to find a new place for me that meets my needs. This is turning out to be not as easy as they hoped. I have been promised that I WILL have work by the end of this contract, but it is frightening.

In the meantime the company I've been contracted to informed my company they wanted to end the contract. No reasons given that my company acceptable, and their reaction was the same as mine: You've gone from "excellent, want to stay permanently" to "go away" in a matter of 4 days??????????? There has been no response to that question.

So that means they are talking about me all the time and I know what they are talking about, mainly because it was happening anyway since I had already initiated it. People are also acting very awkward around me. And they seem to be trying to do things on the list of maybe 5 things I had asked not to be done, like making it so I can see one patient at a time, all day long and today I have to go to this extra building for the 7th time in the last 2 weeks. I'm not even contracted there, and nobody asks, they just tell. That is not how they treat their real employees, and as my boss and I have discussed there is a difference between being a contracted employee and slave. (For example, the corporate person I talked to saw no reason that I should be unhappy about them not having vacation coverage for me).

There is more to the story, I'll tell it someday. For now, just know it's going to be very hard for me for the next few weeks. Hopefully today I'll get the call that says "you've got work!", but there's no promise.

Why is work so complicated? It's not changing contracts I mind. For one thing that's part of my job. For another, I initiated it 2 weeks ago, just wasn't sure until Monday. But leaving with the feeling they are angry is another.

I'm so glad I got my meds adjusted when I did....