I am usually Dr. Brain's last patient and she usually spends a lot of time with me. This is the way she has arranged it for years. When I saw her after the hospital she had them made a big point of emphasizing "ONLY 45 MINUTES". Tonight I got an email telling me there is someone after me so only my hour. This is hurting my feelings. Isn't she is charge of what happens? And if she is moving my appointment to 12 to control this it's really bad for me because I can barely get up, much less drive safely in the mornings right now. Really though if she feels I'm taking advantage of her time or something now is so not the time to do this, especially not in this way as I can't handle it. I feel guilty and like I've been doing something wrong for the last 8 years and well, like I said, she controls the clock. I don't even see the thing. Plus I think I am nearly always done out in about 75 minutes which is a long time but now I feel like I've been bad or something and I don't have time talk about it with her because we have to cover depression city here, back to work, these awful meds, and getting back to a life.
Is session time (which I often can't see the clock without turning awkwardly) my responsibility or hers? In my professional world it is my job to get out of there in a reasonable time frame. So why not hers?
And now I feel panic-attacky because I so did not need to feel this way. Probalby not her intention but I'm really not good and am easily made to believe bad things. And I'm crying. Again. Fabulous.