I have been finding out the last few weeks whenever it thinks about raining why my podiatrist says eventually I'll choose to operate on my ankle. The arthritis HURTS. I don't know if this is my new attempts to be aware of pain, or if it is because the pain is truly bad but last night I bravely emailed Dr. Body that I was ready to say something hurt and could I please try this new-ish treatment (it's a lidocaine patch that I had several patients successfully use for arthritis last year). And he said yes. So in a few days I'll have pain relief option because I was able to see that something hurt too much to just tolerate it. This is a very, very good thing.
I also suspect that I'll be having surgery in the summer of 2012.........I'll have FMLA and be past my short term disability pre-existing clause by then and ankle surgery and ice seem like a bad mix, plus summer is always harder for me to work, so if the pain continues I have that to look forward to.
I never thought that the arthritis would hurt so much. I know it probably seems worse with my exhaustion and unstable mood right now, but still, it really hurts.
Regardless I'm really proud of myself because I admitted something hurt, first to me, then to a doctor, and I asked for something I can have so we didn't have the usual pain-med dance.