Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Sunday, September 19, 2010

So much for trust

I've worked so hard on trust, and fortunately what I've learned mostly will stick.  But I had my trust shaken to the core this evening.  This has NOT been a good day.......

I've talked about the kid I hired for odd jobs.  I was so proud to trust him enough to let him be in my home alone.  I even at one point left a key out for him.  But when he didn't come for some reason or another I brought it in.  Thank God.  Sometime after that he mentioned something about "picking it up" that I ignored; he certainly was not getting a key permanently.  Anyway, I had to cancel big stuff on him a while back because of money and because of my episode. I'd asked him though to come by and put up a mailbox for me.  Which he has proceeded to not do, repeatedly, but always with a good reason.  He was supposed to come today.  Again.  Because of rapidly changing plans I've had the things to do it sitting outside for about a week, which the directions and a check clipped together inside.

As I said I slept most of today.  At one point I knew the cat had pulled down the curtains in the living room, but that happens.  So I ignored it and it wasn't until later when I was fixing the curtains that I thought to look out to see if he had done his job.  I was horrified to see the  stuff still on the porch with the mailbox open and moved.  Sure enough, all the papers were gone.

A series of text messages and phone calls with his fiance revealed that he disappeared Friday night.  He called into work with a story about a sick grandfather that wasn't true (I've had that excuse before too) and switched shifts, and then never showed for that shift.  Apparently nobody knows where he is.

I don't know that he stole it.  It could have been a kid.  I suspect otherwise, and that he grabbed everything when the cat pulled down the curtain.  I'm not going to stop payment, I'm going to let it be cashed and compare the writing to a previous check on the signature part.  Essentially I'm letting him hang himself with it.   From there I don't  know.  I may file a police report, but it seems like so little to wreck someone's life over. I wish he'd asked.  If I knew he needed 24 stinking dollars I would have given him $50.  But stealing means no more work for him.  No showing AGAIN and causing me to have to pay for a PO Box which makes my life difficult for another 6 months (I can't pick up packages because I am gone while they are open except on Saturdays) is enough.  I can paint myself if I have to; I can't be on and off a ladder but I bet I can find a sturdy something to stand on  instead.

Anyway, that's the end of my really crappy day.  Tomorrow has to be better.......


Anonymous said...

Tomorrow will be better. Has to be.

I truly do understand your frustration with needing to get things done around your house and needing to find/trust someone else to help. And then thinking/hoping, "Yay me! I FINALLY found someone! What a relief!" And now, this. Arghhh! No matter if he took the money or not, he violated your trust. It's tough to be a homeowner and tougher yet when you are a woman. There is no "good ole boy" network to dive into. Several of my friends and I have had this same discussion.

But Just Me, perhaps I am not qualified to judge about "trust violation". I am of the mind that trust is EARNED. Others freely give their trust until someone proves themselves unworthy of it. I truly do not know which idea is "normal"; only thing I do know is that for me trust is pretty sacred.

I thought of you last night. Right across the street from my house is our local Applefest. The beer tent / band is within 100 feet of my house. Last night the beat of the bass drum was sooooo badly vibrating my house that I was literally climbing the walls. I was so incredibly agitated - like pacing. I was thinking that if I had a hammer I'd like to go and smash his foot. Now, if you knew me, you'd know that I am not violent in any way shape or form. Anyway, my point is if what I felt like last night is 1/100 as bad as what you go through, for instance anything like being manic? ... well, I don't know how you do it. I will never pretend to have walked your road, but I guess I look for things that I can relate to in my own way.

ANYWAY --- I finally found some foam earplugs, and then put on my old-fashioned stereo head phones. Ha! Can you just picture me walking into the beer tent with my nightgown, earplug getup and a hammer? HA! It's funny to me now, but it wasn't then.

Painting is very therapeutic for me. You know, if you do just hand paint about 6 inches on the top, you could use a roller for the rest and wouldn't need to spend much time at all on a ladder. I have read about your "quiet room" and would love to see you have that as a haven.

Enough of me - yes, tomorrow WILL be a better day!


WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

Bummer. And the mailbox still isn't up. sigh.

Just Me said...


Yeah, and I'm going to have to get the post office box renewed. But I finally figured out that I'm going to check into getting a box where I work so I can get packages more easily.

That's a fairly good picture of mania. Just add in there that you would actually go out with the hammer in your nightgown and you're on the right path. I own so many sound blocking/white noise making devices I could probably have one all the time.

Good times......

Michal Ann said...

Jen, I just want to say that I hope you will NOT let this "shake your trust to the core." It's very frustrating that you had such a problem with your handyman but please save some of your core for more serious matters. Don't let the hurt go that deep.

You're too precious for that!

Anonymous said...

So, was today a better day? I am hoping so!

Michal Ann seems to be a very wise woman with an excellent suggestion.

Hoping you had a great day.