First, to anonymous, I really appreciate how respectful you are trying to be. I used to get so tired of people telling me my family life sounded like a soap opera. It was awful, and obviously there is an unease that goes with having your family be known as "one of THOSE PERVERT teachers".
I think that when something is written on here it is immediately up for discussion, unless I ask otherwise, which I have done from time to time. In fact I hope to have discussion. I find other people's opinions very helpful because sometimes my thinking isn't very clear. Also, other people don't have all the emotional engagement that I do. Sometimes the emotional engagement is bad. I know that I will ignore my mother hurting me frequently because I can't stand the idea of giving up both my parents. And selfishly I need help from her sometimes. But also she has tried. She doesn't get it, and she doesn't often follow through with what she should, but she tries. Last year when I was too sick for Thanksgiving she managed to arrange for it to just be her and I and we ate a roast, nothing fancy or tricky. That gets her a lot of credit. Where she loses credit is that she wasn't a good mother in many ways when I was a kid; she tends to be judgmental and decides that I'm being negative when I am being factual, or that I don't interpret things right (ie my sister being mean to me). She think she can read my symptoms but she couldn't be further from the truth a lot, nor can she come to any level of understanding about how sick I really am at times. However, I also know that sometimes this is simply her denial, her fear that the things she did caused this or made it worse. And there is no way to know.
I need to go to get blood drawn then see a few patients, so I'm going to stop writing and get moving.
(Essentially the point here: as long as you are fair and polite I don't care what is said here; I like new ideas. If I'm not well enough to want other's input I will always say so).