Friday, December 23, 2011
I feel much more raw today. I think my numb period is over. I think all the things I said last night to Dr. Mind made me have to feel again. It all feels much closer, and also much scarier as I realize what I've been doing these last weeks in lying to myself and to Dr. Mind. Only grace kept me alive. I'm trying hard to let the emotions stay, even if it means the dreaded crying. I'm also going to beg for a different form of anxiety med. because ativan doesn't make any difference. I am so tired today but it is tired versus I can't move because I'm under so much weight.