Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Friday, December 23, 2011

Starting to feel manic.  Not good.....Need to stay in the MIDDLE.  (need to FIND the middle).

I opened up a LOT today both with my nurse and in group.  I talked about how lying has nearly caused me to harm myself and how I lied to everyone in my life to get there.  I also realized that the lying started to get bad when confused on lithium and so then it grew out of control.

Now to stop lying.


Anonymous said...

The circumstances of the last year of your life have been a long, hard and often dark road Jen. I think about all you've endured both physically and mentally, and now I can see the toll it has taken on you.

Dear Jen, sometimes we can do only what we can do. Sometimes we are so confused by our sickness or from drug toxicity that we don't always know which way to go.

But now I see you coming through the fog into a brighter place. I am sure the talking and confessions and guilt (?) are painful but you're not alone in the journey. You are surrounded by capable professionals, love of family and friends, and of course our Heavenly Father. This pain will bring healing.

Please keep moving forward through it Jen. Do the best you can. Take it slowly. Be patient with yourself. You WILL come through this. And you will be better for it. I believe in you, Jen. You can do this.


Anonymous said...

Ah, sweetie! You're doing so well. I'm very proud of you...even if you "lied." I'm sure there's a big helping of denial in the mix!

Balance, yes, balance. Prayers continue, dear girl.


Rachael said...

Dear Jen - Been reading with concern for several days now. Like the comment above, I am very proud of you. You are doing things to take care of yourself. And you are coming clean with yourself and those around you. Good for you, good for you, good for you. Be careful with yourself - you are so very important. As always, thank you for sharing - you are in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jen,
Just checking in today and wanting you to know that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers.