Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Ouch

I just decided that I might feel happier or more relaxed if I watched the video I made of my wonderful day with my niece back in November.  And it still is a great video of a great day.  However it made me cry.  Those days were hard and I was so tired and yet they were only a short period from being toxic and everything that has come after that.  Those were the days that I truly thought I could work again soon.  Now I can't even handle my simple job of waiting to hear from Dr. Brain about whether I'm going in tomorrow or Monday.  If I don't go tomorrow  I'll be able to see her for a while if I can make it down there.  But I just need to get the going and signing in part over.  Not strong enough.........

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are strong enough and brave enough. Your mom and Dr. Brain will be o.k.-- You don't need a reason or a worry or a person to explain your ragged emotions. You're feeling lousy and it just sucks plain and simple.

Praying for you, body systems, soul and spirit,

Michal

Numbers 6: 24-27

“The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make His face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn His face toward you
and give you peace.”

Anonymous said...

Hi Jen,

From your previous post: "Admitting before someone told me that I need help is a big, huge step for me." Think of it... a huge step. A huge step FORWARD!

I've always thought that crying was cleansing. Perhaps it is necessary even to cry over time lost, hopes lost, and most especially the happy times!

BUT, just remember... those times will come again. Not ALL hope is lost, nor is ALL time lost. And the happy days with your niece? They will get better and better!

For the times you cannot hope? I believe you will just have to let "us"/your team/those in your life do it for you. Hope WILL come again. Perhaps this huge step is just one step closer to the right side of the rainbow!

B.