All I want is answers

I got a little better sleep last night. I had 2 4 hour chunks, which felt much better. Today I canned/froze 12 lbs of green beans. I just finished slicing and cutting out bad spots on 10 lbs of second tomatoes; I've got 10 more lbs to go when my hand uncramps. Tomorrow those will become spaghetti sauce.

I am frustrated because I feel like I'm not getting help. I don't know what I want from most people except my doctor and I realized why she hasn't been in touch so she gets until Tuesday before I'm really mad at her. My psychologist hasn't done anything wrong; I didn't even ask for an extra appointment which i could have done, so being angry with him is just me being mad.

I just want someone to tell me "this is how this goes away". I always get confused. I feel better if I stay busy, but what level is busy and what level is feeding the fire? Is it better to stay sedated during the day and not do anything at all but sit around and be miserable because I still can't sleep, or is it better to do things and know this risks increasing the agitation? What I'm doing now seems reasonable, but last year I was practically ready to pull down my whole house singlehandedly and argued vehemently that this was quite reasonable. All I know for sure is that this dose of Seroquel isn't the answer.

And unfortunately that tonight is one of my I really want to rip my hair out nights. Guess I'll be playing medication roulette...