I think I might be calming down. We'll see. I have actually been awake today instead of completely unconscious from the Risperdal. I haven't done much, which I'm taking as a good thing. I am still very aware of noise and very much preferring silence. Even my very quiet neighborhood is too loud.
I am in that weird place where I'm too sedated to do anything, yet not necessarily sleeping all the time. I've been thinking about many random things, but one of them is something that I think of from time to time. I had a physical done with a new doctor several years ago, and as he went through things he noted I was bipolar, then asked about my birthmark, which is large and in an unusual area. He was rather fascinated by the idea that I had two rare situations and whether there might be a link. Of course I had no idea. But what he doesn't know is that those aren't the only way my body has had significant little glitches. I have a weird eye (wall-eye, I think it would be called in the venacular). At least one of my knee had just enough of a deviation in how things were attached that a small injury destroyed it. Etc.
All of these things have been significant enough to need treatment or to be obviously visible. None of them are "normal". I realize that everyone has a variety of ways we're put together differently, and that assymetry is part of the human form, but I sometimes wonder if there is a link between all of these things and my ilness? Even further, if there's a link between the weird parts of my body, my illness, and my crazy med reactions.
Out of curiousity does anyone else have weirdnesses?