Today I saw the psychiatrist. I'm sure that my plight was pretty clear just looking at me; I honestly can't remember when I showered last but have a bad feeling it was Thursday night. I know I looked rumply and tired and unhappy. I was in some of my fitful sleep when it was time to wake up and was behind this morning. Anyway, looking back she had quoted me last time with some words that show this was starting a month ago, which makes sense since it hit hard 10 days later.
I'm starting Seroquel tonight. I'm also on disability for a while, probably about a month. The length depends on how I tolerate Seroquel. Then there will probably be some rearranging of my other meds if tolerated.
I feel so much better because well, first because she didn't tell me to quit goofing off and I'd be ok. She gave me so much sympathy about how hard mixed states are, and how hard rapid cycling mixed states are. I needed so badly to hear that I'm being strong, because right now it feels more like I'm just losing my mind.
The super high part of this is ending and the crash is starting; that's good in many ways, but it is also not at all easy to endure. I'm so glad that now hopefully the worst of the crashing will be caused by the med and I'll sleep through it.
I'm also grateful because I got everything in place at work in only a few hours. I am not as concerned about being off now.
Also, I didn't understand that I couldn't change absolutely anything I wanted about the blogger templates with their new easy thing. I want something different but have no skills to make it happen. This isn't it. I am researching and will be doing something different soon I hope; so for now bear with me as it may be different frequently, depending on how sleepy I am.