Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Friday, October 26, 2007

Post #Many for Today

I'm going to sound like I'm having a pity party. Maybe I am. If I am I'm going to go with the thought that I'm allowed, that I'm in the middle of a really hard time.

A great deal of what I'm struggling with is some serious anxiety. It's the cause of the broken (yet again) sleep. It may be part of why I don't want to stop sleeping. I'm frustrated with this entire thing that is my life and I need to just cry. I seem unable to do so unless the psychologist talks me through it, and that is really not so much fun.

I did take a shower today. That's 2 in a row, which is good since before that was like 3. I also have the dishwasher ready to run.

I'm not eating well. I have eaten, but not based on thought out meals.

I also just can't believe my disability is messed up. I need that so badly, and not having it makes things worse. I can't spend any money so I have to not leave home, or if I do it has to be to go somewhere money isn't required.

It's so hard to believe that only a few weeks ago I felt essentially the opposite.

1 comment:

Emilija said...

For just about everyone I know on disability, it doesn't go smoothly. Forms don't get filled out or mailed or they get lost. Somehow, the check is never in the mail when it is supposed to be. But it should get straightened out eventually. I know, this is the last thing that you need!